Bielie Mielie Fees

We went off to Reitz this weekend. Doug and Fiona were doing a 90km mountain bike ride and Kayla and I went along for the ride. Rietz is this very small dorpie in the Freestate in the middle of farming country. After we dropped Fi and Doug off at the start in Frankfort (about 60kms down the road) Kayla and I went back to Reitz for some Bielie Mielie Fees. It was fantastic! It was so authentically Afrikaans and somehow so simple. I stuffed myself full of deep fried pastry things, sausages, pankoeke en alles. Kayla and I wandered around. I never once said to her to hurry up - we did it all at her pace. We went on the funfair rides and my child proved again the strength of her need-for-speed gene. I went on a big fast ride with her. I squealed my way around the ride (naturally) and she just giggled and giggled. There were these huge farming tractor things that completely dwarfed everything around them. The majority of men were the opitomy of the Boere - wif their kort broek, lang kouse, comb in the socks and the vroumense het baaie mooi kruller in hul hare and baie mooi rokkies. It was such a wonderful experience.
It had been raining a lot and the place was very muddy and wet. Well Kayla found as many puddles as she possibly could and splooshed through all of them. She was sopping wet and filthy dirty and as happy as a lark!
It was a great weekend away is this awesome country of ours!

I feel like such a fool

You know generally I am a pretty circumspect cautious person and not taken in too easily by nonsense. But today I think I was put under a spell - because none, absolutely NONE of the above applied to me for a short period. I have been feeling very under the weather and achey and lay down for most of the morning. I popped out to collect some photos and was really not looking my best. Hair messily up, catepillar eyebrows, pale and wan, glasses, no make-up - get the picture? Now I normally, in a friendly but firm way, say no to the sales people in the shops - you know the ones that want to sell you nail products, great hair dresser products, beds, cars, diaries, books, insurance, pots and pans you name it. But this guy must have waved this hair straightner/curler wand and put a spell on me. Because he called me over and before I knew it I was sitting in the chair (in front of shoppers - horrors of horrors - they were watching me getting suckered and hair curled at the same time!). He was french and clearly a very powerful magician. He said nice things about me and asked me how old I was (I theenk you are about 28 oui - says he) and of course when I laugh at him he says "but you 'ave the body of a 20 year old oui!". There were more nice things said and he was so charming and I felt a lot better than I was looking and anyway before I knew it I had a curler tong thing - a purple one - in an expensive plastic bag and a BIG hole burned in the little plastic card that fits in my wallet.
When I got back to the car I shook myself and thought it was a dream until my phone beeped with an sms message saying I had spent a formidable amount of money.
A fool and her money.....

The experience of discipline and fluffly hair

Self-respect is the fruit of discipline; the sense of dignity grows with the ability to say no to oneself.

Rabbi Abraham Heschel

So I have decided to make February the month of Discipline. This is the intention of experiencing discipline. It will encounter denial but that is not the intention. The 2 main areas I am looking at are getting up earlier to have some quiet meditative time and to not have wine at home from Mon - Thurs. I am not feeling overwhelmed with this challenge which is a jolly good start. At around 5 pm - crazy hour I do start having a debate if I reeeeaaalllllyyyyy need to be disciplined and a glass of cold crisp chardonnay would just be fabulous. One day at a time....

Had my hair cut yesterday - the 1st time in 8 years that I have a different style. I feel pretty and feminine and yummy-mummy-ish!

It's raining it's pouring lets get out of bed and stop snoring!

I had such a stunning run this morning in the rain. Doug comes to me very bleary-eyed wondering we were going to run. I think he was a little dismayed by my answer. My hubby does not like the rain! It was quite light when we left - I guess they closed the sluice gates upstairs and then opened them and then closed them. We parted ways at 3 kms - him to work and me back home. I splashed in puddles and relished in the cool nourishing water. I was laughing at one point coz it was raining ridiculously hard - I reckon the poor buggers in their cars thought I was completely barmy. (Probably not far off!).
Then a delicious well deserved breakfast with Fi - health bread, salmon, cream cheese and avo and copius amounts of tea.
What a beeeyadaful Wednesday morning!
Have joined Club100 cycling (http://www.club100.co.za) and entered a 50km race. The aim is to boost the running power with some cross training (and not to mention atttempt the 94.7 race in Nov FIT).

We are in!

Our entries have been accepted for the Wildcoast Wildrun - yeeeha! All off-road so the training will be a little different than for Comrades. Probably not so much milage but more strength and speed training. I am SOOOOO excited. Only 160 people get accepted so it really is quite a thing. Right must go plan a training schedule.
Here is the splurb:

The Wildrun is fast becoming one of the most sought-after multi-day wilderness trail running events in the World. Runners run solo for 112km over three days along arguably the most beautiful and scenic coastline in South Africa – the Transkei Wild Coast.

The Wildcoast Wildrun starts at the Great Kei River; roughly 80km north of East London, and finishes at one of the most beautiful natural wonders of South Africa – the Hole-in-the-Wall. Between the two is 112km of wilderness running like nowhere else on Earth, with golden beaches, rolling hills, spectacular cliffs, wildlife, dolphins, warm sea, blue sky and friendly people! The Wildcoast Wildrun takes place in the cool but clear winter months and during a spring low tide ensuring hard golden sand – perfect for running! The route is unmarked, and runners simply follow the coastline until they reach the finish of each stage.

The Wildrun is not about the destination but about the journey. Come and experience some of the most beautiful running terrain on the planet. The Wildrun is brought to you by Wildrunner Events, organizers of the Trail Series.

New Challenges

Well I have entered the WildCoast Wildrun which is a trail run of 112 kms run over 3 days in September in the Transkei. Fiona and I have both entered so hopefully we have been accepted. Watch this space...
Am a bit of a blimp at the moment so a good challenge will be fab. Now all I have to do is work out how to make my back not so sore!

What a year

Wow - what a year this has been. Big highs, awful lows, great learnings, humbling times, incredible beauty, depths of despair, awareness of fragility and power, strength in peace and presence.

Kayla started at a new school in January - Yellowbrick Road. I was apprehensive of the higher fees and the seemingly tons of holidays. It took her about 6 weeks to settle in properly. I think her teacher, Kelly, went through a very tough time with her and I suspect was almost ready to say to us that she was not suitable for the school. But Kelly's love and patience with Kayla paid off and that precious child absolutely thrived at school this year. She made huge strides in communication and in her cognitive development. She was so tired at the half term breaks and holiday times and needed the break.

I entered 2010 struggling with depression. I fought demons this year on that front. The Comrades training was a real blessing as I did a lot of meditative work while running. Sometimes it was dialogues with my angels, sometimes it was complete rants, shouting and swearing at them, sometimes it was a repetition of my mantra – Faith, Abundance, Gratitude. I had many visits with Roche – a psychologist who is also a friend and a mom to a young son with Down Syndrome. Her patience and wisdom propped me up many a time in this lonely journey. I often wondered how I could be so lonely when I did have people who loved me.

I tried a variety of supplements to aid serotonin levels but they could not quite do the trick. My suicidal thoughts were concerning to me but I knew they were more a plea for help and a plea to take me out of the place I was simply not coping with. After months of resisting and desperation to change how I was feeling I went onto anti-depressants. I went onto them this time with a real awareness that I still have to do a lot of work and not just go with the sensation of “feeling better” – as that just does really paper over the cracks. So the place I am at now is I am coping with “life’ better and continuing to work the lessons. I have found my love of life again and every day feel the spark of Gratitude at all I am and all I have. Thank you….

Training for Comrades was pretty much all encompassing. I ran A LOT! I was tired a lot, excited, filled with doubt, absolutely certain I could do it. I used up the medical aid very quickly as I spent so much time at Michael the Chiro and Leigh the biokinetsist and then Dr Preddy the doom and gloom Orthopaedic Surgeon. Each goal reached – the half marathon in Jan, the qualifying marathon in March, the 60km run in April – filled me with pride. I really did enjoy each of those events but they took their toll on my body. After the long run I developed a large bursitis in my left hip. When I went to see the Orthopaedic Surgeon he sent me for an MRI scan which also revealed I had 2 compressed spinal disks. He said I should not run more than 2 kms from now on and that I would not finish Comrades. At that stage words like that only fuelled my determination to get to finish line. I had 2 lots of cortisone injections over a space of 4 weeks. It wreaked havoc with my sleep and made my tea taste funny! When we were registering in Pietermaritzburg 2 days before Comrades the combi was broken into. Everything was stolen – all my running kit, our clothes, cameras. I remember running up and down the road in a complete hysterical panic praying that they had thrown the bags into the bushes somewhere. Wow that hour or so probably went down as one of the real lows in the year. Once the panic had receded and I started thinking about where to from here, the question I asked was: “Are all these challenges a warning to not run this race or are they challenges put there to run in spite of everything?” I went with the latter and decided to run in spite of everything. So I gave the baddies the middle finger and set off to the shops to replace the kit. I was so boosted by the love and support of my friends and family and my darling husband. I was proud of my courage and pleased that I am so bloody stubborn! The day was magnificent and is a story all of its own.

Post May was filled with dealing with insurance and broken vehicles. The Audi fell apart spectacularly and cost a small fortune. I was so sorry to part with that car but its time with us was finished. The geyser in the house was replaced as were the bits and pieces of things stolen. We were under insured – sigh … one more of those lessons!

I struggled with winter. The emptiness of no goals, depression (I was not on the anti-depressants yet), the start of working on new business – setting up the maintenance division for Greg, the cold, the cold. Winter was just not so lekker. But the wheel turns. I learnt what I did not want and was still working out what I wanted. I moved away from the maintenance side and focused on Garden Godmother. I am excited by this little venture.

Spring was so welcomed and I seemed to be emerging myself. Some of the learnings were:

Find Freedom in what I do

Stop the sabotage

Be Present

Live in Gratitude

Move from fear to Faith

Doug and I did some gentle down time and healing in Umhlanga in September while Kayla spent a couple of days at my folks. Thank you Mom and Dad for that gift of space and time.

I learnt about Abundance this year. I suspect it is not a lesson you learn once and never go back to it again but rather something that requires on going attention to.

I went to the Berg in October with Fi and her sisters for her 50^th. It was a wonderful week away. She is a really special friend and an awesome woman. I am always humbled and strengthened in the Berg. Those mountains remind me of my space in this universe – that my time is brief, that I come from an enormous source of power.

I turned 40 this year. We had a fabulous party with lots of food and wine – just my sort of party! I was very conscious of changing decades and said to myself – this is my last trail run in my 30’s, this is my last shower in my 30’s, this is my last etc, etc…. My initial reason for running Comrades this year was to end off my 30’s with a bang. Tick – did that one!

I celebrated my little girl’s 6^th birthday today. 6 years old – gosh – it sounds so big yet at times she is just such a little person. Kayla has been a gift in so many ways. I love her is such a deep consuming way yet I could cheerfully throw her in the dustbin sometimes. It is a privilege to be a mother to her. And again – Thank You.

Doug and I celebrated our 7^th year anniversary. I absolutely LOVE being married to him. He is wonderful, funny, sexy, kind and thoughtful. We are still teaching each other things – and long may that last. I have a lot to learn from him.

So that basically was 2010 in an elongated type of nut-shell. Let’s see what the New Year brings – BRING IT ON……